Getting Help with Your Circus

Confidant, Mentor, Sounding Board, Counselor, Tutor, Guide, Teacher, a Listening Ear, Guru or Advisor. Who do you turn to when you need advice, direction or to just relieve some steam? In a lot of situations, it may be a spouse, parent or significant other. You may turn to a professional counselor, therapist or life coach. On the other hand, you may be going it alone.

Consider formally creating a relationship with someone of your choosing to help you with your "circus." Even better, create a situation with someone where you can work together in supporting each other. Meet on a regular basis (monthly, weekly, daily?) to discuss those things that are important to you and that you might need help with. When you meet, consider these ideas:

  • At the beginning of your time together, allow for some sharing of frustrations and concerns. At the same time, don't spend too much time venting or complaining.

  • Focus on goals. Use the time to "return and report" about progress toward goals. We attended a session where a speaker shared that he has a daily call with his coach to report on his eating habits, exercise, progress on writing a book and a whole list of other items. Knowing that he will have to report on his progress to his coach provides him the healthy pressure that he needs to get things done
  • You have two ears and one mouth. Consider listening more than speaking. Sometimes people just need to share their feelings and be heard. Also, don't dominate the conversation. Be sure you are allowing for equal time.
  • Instead of burdening your spouse/significant other with work-related problems, consider finding a colleague that you can download with and share advice.
  • Keep a list. Create a place in your smart phone, planner or on a plain piece of paper that you carry with you where you can make a list of things that you would like to discuss and get feedback/advice on. This will make for more meaningful meetings.
  • Create boundaries. There may be some topics and subjects that you don't want to discuss or hear. Set these boundaries upfront so that awkward situations are avoided. You may want to be very focused with those things that you discuss
  • Set a timer. A timer will make sure that each person has an equal amount of time and forces you to keep to your allotted amount of time for the whole session together. Remember, the goals is to meet regularly. If you have marathon meetings, you might be hesitant to schedule a regular session

Continuous improvement is an important part of "creating the performance of a lifetime." Getting assistance, advice and feedback can be a great way to see things differently and assist you in your efforts to accomplish the things that are most important to you.